teach me how to pray

long time since last i read a bible.

that’s a line in one of my verses. i forget which. i chauffeured my aunt, we all call her ” mami ” to Aunt Monica’s place. she came back late and so a decision was made that we sleep-over. she’s either fervently religious or deeply spiritual; i don’t know which is more appropriate. you by now should be in a position to point in which direction this is going.

we were all having fun as the adults engaged in ‘ adult-talk ‘ and the youth in their murmuring and bursts of laughter. i believe ‘ adult- talk ‘ is how ‘saved’ Christians gossip. In that, their conversations are in low tones, intense and punctuated with ” God is good “. at least they didn’t go to the extremes of hiding out in a room. the ‘ holy of holies ‘. in the dining room is where the ‘ youth convention’ kicked off with this writer feeling all old and there fore wiser. in truth i was bored before my younger cousins converged for supper. at least now i had an accommodating audience that would most effectively cater to my ego. good listeners always are a prescription for low self esteem. i love my family.

i should describe my beautiful cousins on this paragraph but i choose peace.

soon enough we hear,”C’mon everybody,… it’s time to pray !”. this is when Sunday school bible verses act as band aid solution to prayer time appointments. nobody reacts to the first call and she decides to rearrange the wording into,”everybody,… its time to pray !”. we have to break camp and after a prolonged dragging of feet we are all finally in the living room.

my Aunt Monica used to be a staunch Christian Union member back at her former high school and a worship leader at that. i stumble through the songs taking a seat nearest to the exit. why? because during those songs am ignorant of, my mind wanders to places and past activities that would easily be called sin. long time since last i read a bible or even prayed. it is at these moments you feel like someone in this room can read your mind and you want to run away. the time conspires to move slower and even stop as you battle sleep.

you remember “God forgives !” and “Jesus loves you” but ” you will BURN IN HELL !” by acts of commission or omission on your part. hell is a scary place. Aunt Monica settles on ‘Mami’ to teach us and i can almost hear sighs of relief. soon enough its time to “turn to Jesus”. my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth. the only thing that keeps me awake is my fear that my prayerful posture might lead to a fart.

i am finally able to fashion the name Jesus and a few words i cant remember but by then everyone is on,” surely goodness and mercies shall follow me all the days of my life” (is all i can recall). oh, and who can forget,”Amen !!”.

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2 thoughts on “teach me how to pray

  1. “the only thing that keeps me awake is my fear that my prayerful posture might lead to a fart”.hahahahhaha true!
    “i chauffeured my aunt, we all call her ” mami ””

    Arguably my best lines in this one!
    You have a way with words……

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