domestic violence; how to

what makes a (wo)man maim, kill the spouse and the entire family?

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what makes a community rise up against another as in ethnic cleansing?

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how does a human burn another inside a church?

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in the family

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mostly it is the man that is the perpetrator it appears. his reasons may be that he wouldn’t want his family to suffer as he is unable to provide. his spouse may have angered him. provoked or talked back to him i.e. dis respected him, nagging, denied him the conjugal, infidelity… and this also applies vice versa as has been recently oft reported.

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some more knowledgeable persons explain that it is a disease of chauvinism. power politics. a woman should know her place. is to be seen and not to be heard… and when not seen is to be heard in the kitchen. and then you have ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better’… ‘ thinking like a boy’… ‘your husband is your first born’ ‘ a woman is your property’… a competition of the gender.

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in the genocide

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one tribe felt aggrieved as to some favoritism of the state.  during the bloodshed one community called the other ‘cockroach’ …. ‘ tall trees’….
in kenya, one community called the others thieves… and the only good one was a dead one. in others the story was that, people from a certain community were not equipped to lead as they had not undergone a surgical procedure that turned boys to men. and that explains how they could be so childish… loud… violent… lazy… stupid…

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to be able to feed someone to a gas chamber, knock out their teeth for gold, starve,…. march them to their death… you have to first justify it to yourself and to those you would like to short circuit their conscience. to the poor tell them the reason they are in such a position is ‘those’ people. to the more intellectually inclined … troop around scientific ‘facts’ and statistics to prove ‘our’ superiority. to the more pious… misrepresent to them the passion of their messiah … teachings of the prophet … and that eternal ‘us’ versus ‘them’… ‘two feet good’… ‘four feet bad’

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simply deny their humanity…

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this numbs somehow the empathy that you have for a fellow human. what is a ‘monkey’ to you? is it not an animal that stalled in its evolution? what is a ‘cockroach’ to you? is it not something to be exterminated? what is a ‘child’ to you? is it not something to be disciplined? what do we do to thieves? doesn’t mob justice demand that you necklace and burn the sin? what do you do to a tall tree? do you not cut it down.. to size?

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rape is violence. have you not heard that the victim deserved it because the dressing was provocative. that she was asking for it? lower animals smell out others to know whether they are on heat… some birds have elaborate mating dance rituals…

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violence is violence

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(wo)man despite what may be put across is not violent. they first  have to overcome the ‘block ‘ of preservation of life. to enable them pass this thresh hold. in the biblical story, the first murder was a fratricide. the first sin outside of the garden of eden. could be favoritism…. and ‘am i my brothers keeper?’
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man and woman come together (for many reasons) and one, maybe, is to do together what they can not do alone.  social scientists have theorized on the state on such theory is the ‘ social contract theory’. we all cede some freedoms to some authority.. the state to protect us… (from each other perhaps… but, nonetheless all of us).

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empathy

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have you ever been splashed with boiling hot water ? what about having your genitals/ breasts cut off?  when you see the face of a woman slashed and disfigured, does what she did matter?

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the newspaper image of a man’s bloodied face caught between heavy heels and unyielding tarmac did you frame it in your living area or have the above mentioned on your profile image? did ‘you cant rape a woman who is already too willing’ offend you? did you nod along, or cheer gleefully – shoot more, kill more, maim all, rape, pillage more?… how dare she question your authority, opposition, nagging, complaining.. ? how dare that child speak to you like that?… ‘the man of the house’… ‘i took an oath’… ‘rights kitu gani?

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the pinch may be on the other foot, one day.. maybe tomorrow… or maybe never.

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if you ever stop to wonder how a (wo)man would eliminate the whole family and themselves too…

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if you ask yourself how did we get to that 007 year…

if you imagine it is only a movie…

if you think i am talking about you…

if you think am talking for or against ‘your people’…

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