and time.
life says,
“make it!”
and pain.
life says,
“make it –
rhyme !”
pleasure ni;
“Jodo, nini hizi!! kilami!!”
pain is:
life says, …
“make it . rhyme!”
hapana, “kwaheri !!”
hapa ni,”Baadae.n !!”
* salute

state of the national imperial (paper) chase address

so, i remembered my history teacher in primary school alleging that kenya is a christian nation . ati 80% of it’s citizens profess this religion or way of life. now, i believe for we are a forgiving nation of second chances
our president and his deputy have led the nation by example down on their knees recognising the king of kings. (sielewi mbona bado the deputy is loudly and profusely still proclaiming innocence na kesi kwisha, the president ametulia). anyway, prayer rallies that have united the nation. from the date they were running mates to date. a round of thanksgiving prayer rallies are in order. early christians were jail birds.. paulo na sila… yes, join me please.. paulo na silaaa…. waliomba…


here is where you can blow your whistles… shangwes and vigelegeles
…….. placards and vuvuzelas are welcome….
yes, watu wa mungu!…. the message i have today for the chase bank customers is what we have been preaching all along, accept and move on! we legally (s)elected suspects to preside over the state. be good christians; forgive and forget. if you can’t forgive you must forget. forget your life savings and pray for the saving of the bank directors.
it takes me back to primary school mathematics; which is greater 10% of kes 700 or 10% of kes 7 B? i asked myself, you should also ask yourself ‘ what is the greater good?’ good christians tithe; and when they are governors and senators i am sure as you have seen they continue the good works

to further demonstrate our christianity, we must now find ways of accommodating the directors in public office. some have called it a gangsters paradise but they forget jesus barabbas. without him the prophecy and the promise of salvation would not have happened

i am calling on you to volunteer for prayer rallies for the bank suspects. we shall be asked i was in jail and you did not visit me… i was hungry you did not feed me… i was cold you did not clothe me…


there are no kenyans living in kenya

… there are
no kenyans
living in kenya
they live
in hashtag
question’s disturb the peace
no politics allowed
but all aspire to be
politicians, *whisper* secretly
why steal
when you can loot?
then you can shoot;
mob justice –
you hit me
we hit you?
.. there are
no kenyans
living in kenya
they headline
athletics news
money transfers
that would rather die than resign
there are no kenyans living
in kenya; a foreign country’s
pay-as-you-vote reality t.v

the enemy within

“Do not interrupt your enemy when he’s making a mistake” someone said that

So this goes to Kenya president’s supporters, advisors, handlers, sycophants … you’re welcome! Sort out the mess we’re in instead of taking offence at raia wanalia ju ya kuumia. The strategy ya making the victim the criminal na the very successful campaign za 2013 of foreigners foreigners

Respect the verdict of the court the people… an institution in its own right. You are charged with negligence. The evidence; security is my responsibility. Agreed. Give you a break Ngunyi Mutahi says managing the country is like herding cats. You are trying he says. Okay

You were elected I want to believe despite the chicken allegations wafting to my nostrils like I smell a roost. I was saying, I want to believe you were elected … NOT to TRRRRRY to HERD CATS… thin or fat notwithstanding. Try… try???… try!!?… AHH… did you see that? Cats, Chicken … and Boniface Mwangi’s Pigs… That would make for an animal kingdom no, animal farm? Yes, heeeee’s baaaaack… be afraid… be verrrry afraid, or not; you could rejoice at free entertainment and … (sorry, bonnie) another scapegoat. Apparently, he’s not a team player in ‘one-of-our-own’… they call that black sheep. Enough of that there


So who is my neighbor? Someone asked the good teacher… who is your enemy? I’ll ask our good jubilee

But we know: FOREIGNERS! FOREIGNERS!… (and the devil!! *whisper* and raila!. )

That’s how us guys won. Forget that’s how we got caught


Could the mistake be blaming a mother for her child’s rape? Not when you stand accused/ suspected of forcible transfer/displacement of population… murder… rapes. What is civil in society that makes it wrong? Who still thinks I harbor my president ill will? Call me to State House for a selfie and handsome handout maybe… but, tweet me Mr. President, meet me! Greet me for my service to my country… how about it

“I am your best friend, you just don’t know it yet!” someone else said that

new world

“That down there in the heavy darkness and flashing lights is ‘club monopoly’. If you take a few steps in its direction it swallows you whole sort of like a black hole. It is then you will encounter the addiction ecstasy. In altered consciousness and zero-gravity your fiducial propriety is affected as you begin to experience morning-after.

You are getting warmer and your heartbeat is peaking. The round table is the real club monopoly and we will get you in and on it. No, we’ll have them come to you. You don’t have to know why we would do this but it’s the how that will start us off. Occupants of the seats of the high table form an interconnected self perpetuating web to prey. They select the music to be played through their company mass media.”

Reader, digest this Bible story. It follows the river Nile and it is about a basket that floated on it carrying a baby Moses. Later he grew into a man who stammered but led a stubborn people out of the cruel servitude of a great emperor. Remember the stick, I hope you draw parallels in the desert wanderings and the trials of this great leader that never got to reach the land he set out for. There were led into the new hope by a protégé of Moses and they had to fight for the validity of their dreams. During their desert meanderings the people grew restless, discouraged, hungry, angry and there were those who tried to capitalize on this to a swift terrible end. The young man in our preceding and proceeding tale is among the spies who will be sent ahead to map out the promise.

“Once you are established you are required to make contact with our people around the great blue slob on that paper I saw you stare at in points that will be marked for you. Also, the regions to the north and greater far west are of particular interest, you are a smart fellow you’ll know how to go about it.”

There is contempt in possession a god-feeling in the control of persons’ lives and livelihood, in monopoly there is the arrogance of power. We need checks and balances carried by institutions that will have the faith of the masses. Consciousness is haunting when you wake up in the middle of a morgue. It is rumoured the attendants take your waking up badly. Yes, they are inclined to put you to sleep. Beside chloroform there is conform. As there is inform, reform and transform.

“Keep the mission foremost on your mind even when you forget the vision; which is expected anyway. Build your network from this moment on. Many have come through here but lost their way through this maze. Keep your eyes on the prize. Good luck. Oh, and that network… spread your wings and fly everyone and everything is important even the rejected stones. Education brings refinement. The lights will go off and you won’t be here… Don’t try to find us. You’ve seen the blueprint, get to work. Hehe ‘go ye’!… Now, the last thing you’ll remember is me patting your back like this”_____

Thin lips, thick braids. Cracked fingernails chipped paint. Stern face, old eyes. Face sinks for cover into the palms and the body jerks about bent over – laughing. Bewildered, nervously smiling, “what’s so funny? What is the joke?” Just as suddenly as an audio tape winds to a stop in a recorder the mood is gone like the ‘90’s. Time travel. Chair creaks as a stony face turns deliberately to face mine… then away. “Are you aluo?”

“Am I the joke?”


club monopoly

Thin pouting painted lips with a hint of a moustache releases,” are you aluo?” Head jerking, twisting and swiveling stops to focus a stare, “You are not scared!” Quite a character. A hand appears to brush thin long strands off a face.

I proceed to find a seat and I am at an open-air pressured water car wash. A man is whispering to me conspiratorially,”it is on record that this city is the third largest contributor to the national GDP… who controls this economy?” I am in a moving car and in an industrial section each warehouse coming up in view has the same name and it troubles me after a time. There is a statue in the middle of the road.

“I have only one secret…”

“… my body count!”, and she laughs hysterically.

There is a map on one table, blue is the prominent colour. Scanning the room the buzz of conversation is muted wherever I gaze.

“It’s a caucus”.

“it’s a circus!”.

“it’s a game, actually!”

“Monopoly. You have to control the instruments of finance. For your kind it will be imperative they quit subsistence on titular employment. However it’s not necessary as you will learn observing that man with frameless gold eye glasses. A few will do. He acts like a big brother and makes them think he has their interests at heart. That is how he gets them to validate his royalty. Act. First you need muscle. Most important thing is family, honesty, hard work…

The illusion is that the tables seem similar and accessible. In truth the man or the one in the winner’s round table occupies the centre of the floor. They can easily move about the room and even go through the kitchen. Those in the kitchen and everywhere else can’t get to the round table at will. The other tables aren’t round notice.

In their hands is the blueprint of the house and rules of engagement for everyone else. They have long term plans and if you happen to fit the bill you may take up a seat next to not with. It’s always the same people in that circle, I’ve been around for a long time and I don’t know how good your history is

Once in a while an outlier comes along and before you can save the world you are put in a position to save yourself. There is a beam running from that table to the foundations of the earth. There must be people of a certain weight seated there otherwise the imbalance would be catastrophic so it is said. I think there is a way around that I saw it in a vision. I need someone crazy enough to make it his mission!”

Thin pouting unevenly painted lips with a hint of a moustache,” are you aluo?” my head shook slowly. A hand appears to brush thin long plastic strands affixed to the head. The other hand goes through the same motion but notice these finger nails are short and without paint.

renaissance’s still birth

The joLuo, a lady friend said, are in a renaissance. I disputed that and waited and nothing special happened. It was after the 2013 general elections. My expectations were unaffected if not for a little hope to be proved wrong for my ‘pessimism’, which could as well be substituted by my perception as ‘realism’.

Renaissance by the way was ‘the revival of art and literature under the influence of classical models in the 14th-16th centuries’. It is also a ‘renewal of interest in something’. Based on this oxford dictionary definition I maintain my position. The latter part cannot stand the general view of these people; they have never failed to interest and attention never seems to veer away long enough from them. For the former part I will concur up to a point since it is for a few notable talents of Luo descent in fields of sports and entertainment that my friend made her observation/declaration?

Somehow people find it hard to wrap their praise around the person of Barack Obama. To an extent they can live with his father being ‘from Kenya’ and ‘ Kogelo clan’ but what’s hard to swallow is his being a joLuo. That magnitude of achievement is unfathomable and Solomonic wisdom to judge between the world and the joLuo is to be called upon. It’s nothing; a storm in a tea cup. However, it raises more questions rhetoric on my part.

My objective is to talk on the history of Kenya vis-a-vis the antagonist aGikuyu and joLuo. I begin with the stereotypes of the aGikuyu as farmers and merchants and the joLuo as craftsmen and scholars. All if not most encounters with the Imperial British government led to changes in lifestyle. It is up to you the reader to find out in what other ways the clash of cultures was resolved beyond my narrow drive and dive into agenda and propaganda.

This is my thesis; the aGikuyu and the joLuo had different experiences with the occupying power, the British. In the lands of the aGikuyu, now the ‘white highlands’ they witnessed the aristocracy in their summer homes, ‘wild west cowboy’ ranches and not very noble habits. In fact, it was a point of debauched humour,’ are you married or do you live in Kenya?’. On the other hand the joLuo saw the administrative side; orderly, clean (starched and pressed khaki) and spiritual (missionaries). Of course the aGikuyu saw this too but it was tempered by brutality and oppression. I doubt the joLuo were herded into reserves similar to those of their fellow ‘sufferers’ and to the same effect; loss in life and livelihood.

As international politics contributed to the shape of the country, its direction was to be determined by the then governor and his government. Our antagonists were about to be birthed and nurtured. Two titans step onto the arena, Jaramogi Odinga Oginga and Jomo Kenyatta. One’s higher education was in the United Kingdom whilst the other completed his in the United Soviet Socialist Republic. Let us highlight their beginnings.

Culturally, the aGikuyu are predisposed to Darwinism’s ‘survival of the fittest’ and independence at an early age is encouraged like the eagle nudging the eaglet from the safety of the nest. This survival instinct and detachment is what makes them great entrepreneurs and is why they have a foothold all over the republic. On the other hand we have the joLuo whose kinship and sense of duty is not restricted to the immediate/ nuclear family. This is gleaned from unschooled social science not my own but it sets the stage for the plot to unravel.

The sun never set on the British Empire. ‘One thing led to another ‘when the first ‘sacco’, the East India trading company begun operations overseas. It was all about spices and other innocent exchanges in local arrangements with individual maharajas. The business was booming and like the recent quail-craze every nation wanted a piece of the action. Different ‘saccos’ from different European nations descended on India and there were skirmishes and the business men needed protection. The queen allowed them guns and muscle and when the boys couldn’t get the work done mama stepped in. Take note boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen; with economic dominance political influence follows.

Fast forward to IBEACO Imperial British East Africa Company… There is nothing new under the sun, its how it has been and how it will always be. Be it Britain, America, China and their nana’s and no-no’s; ‘there are no countries, only economic realities!’

After the World War II the colonial government seeing its overheads reach over its head they decided to fold up. Jaramogi Oginga Odinga was approached with the offer of taking over but he turned it down in favour of the still incarcerated Jomo Kenyatta. I understand he was counselled to avoid making a regrettable decision and as history has it he had his way. Then the inevitable; personalities and cultures came to a head and was reduced to a debate on capitalism and communalism in some quarters.

“What do you have? (so and so) has a big house and farm!”, is how Bildad Kaggia was castigated for ‘making noise’ in the name of the people, the common man; the ordinary citizen, by the president Jomo Kenyatta. J.M Kariuki’s “ten millionaires and ten million paupers” quip killed him quick and so it seems T.J Mboya’s threat of ambition did him in…

Ever since the recognition of this former crown land as a country there has been a pervading sense of unfairness in sharing of the ‘fruits of independence’. The ruling class in the tradition of the ‘founding fathers’ have sullied the dream of emancipation. It is no surprise therefore the whimper for a ‘revolving presidency’ even in the presence of the much touted salvation by devolution.

Capitalism isn’t a foreign concept, it is the charade of democracy that is. It is our duty to defend, amend and make it work for the queen, the princes, the paupers and the court jesters. We all know that the system is rigged in the favour of the house, by what devices do we make it of service? Ponder that putting people before and over profits


My friend says that ever since Agwambo returned, her efforts at conversations on renaissance with her joLuo counterparts, bloggers and thinkers have come to naught. I smiled.